


im here

by orphan_account



Series: a collection of aus im doin' from my list pals [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: basically jer is in a coma after the play and well hes fucking dying yo, this is also bad because i need to learn how to try lmao, this is so rushed like it was written in under an hour really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 11:31:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11622633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: all he ever does is scream





	im here

**Author's Note:**

> y'all im in a shit mood!!! my brothers cat broke my laptop, my anxiety and depression are all over the place, and i have a huge headache. so i listened to a cry reads and was like lemme kill my favorite character off. so he(e)re we are on a shitty tablet typing this out

_Beep..._

_Beep..._

_Beep..._

That's all Jeremy ever heard these days, the steady beep beep beep that never seemed to change.

_Beep..._

_Beep..._

_Beep..._

At first he had no idea what the beeping sound meant, or where it was even coming from.

_Beep..._

He learned that it was coming from a heart machiene pretty quickly though, seeing that he could hear everything that was going on around him.

_Beep..._

At first he thought that he had gone blind, which would make sense. He did have a pretty powerful, faulty, supercomputer implanted in his brain and he did- well, technically, Michael and Christine did forcefully remove it from his brain and everyone else's. That could've easily messed with his vision and if that was the case- Jeremy couldn't be angry about it. He would've deserved it for what he did to Michael and everyone else. 

He knew Michael's worst dream was to be alone and for awhile there, he just didn't care. He'd ditched his friend of 12 years just for a taste of the sweet popularity he had craved for years on end. He traded comfortable late night video gaming for worrying about his posture and licking Brooke's infected nipple.

_Beep..._

It seemed like a fair trade back then, but it wasn't.

_Beep..._

He knew what he was doing in the bathroom the night of the party, he knew that he was leaving Michael all by himself with his demons. All Jeremy wanted to do was upgrade, the SQUIP had promised that he would upgrade as soon as he ditched Michael for good.

_Beep..._

The SQUIP had been so clear of what it wanted from him and his thoughts.

No thinking about what Michael is doing right now.

No thinking about how much he missed his former friend's touch.

No thinking about how Michael would've enjoyed that cool hoodie in the mall.

No thinking about getting high with Michael, only think about getting high with the right people. People like Rich, Brooke, and all the other populars- except Jenna, he's a blabbermouth when he gets high and Jenna would have gossip for months.

No Michael and everything would be okay, the SQUIP promised.

_Beep..._

Jeremy had felt even worse after he ditched Michael, but the SQUIP was proud. He was getting showered with compliments and that had never happend to Jeremy before. He felt parental love for the first time in his entire life, it was everything to him for a couple days. Everything was perfect!

_Beep..._

Until it wasn't.

_Beep..._

_Beep..._

_Beep..._

He'd just gotten turned down by Christine Canigula and that's when the SQUIP decided to make the school his own shiny, happy hivemind.

_Beep..._

And well, everyone in Jersey knew the story about what happened. He'd heard the story a thousand times on the news, each time new details were added that refreshed his memory. They had stopped saying the same story recently though after they had interviewed everyone involved. 

Everyone except him.

_Beep..._

He still heard unfamiliar voices once in awhile that seemed far away, like they weren't in the same room with him, asking to see him. To see the boy who had started the big outbreak, just for some "closure." He heard them call him every name in the book on their way out of where ever they were when they got rejected.

_Beep..._

So yeah, if he was blind, he wouldn't have a problem with it because he believes that what he did was stupid and wrong.

_Beep..._

He wasn't blind. His body felt numb, but it wasn't numb at the same time. He felt as if he was floating and sinking all at once.

_Beep..._

He couldn't fucking move his body.

He wanted to scream, but he couldn't. His body wouldn't let him and that terrified Jeremy.

It also terrified him that the last thing he remembered was hearing Michael scream, sure he was lucky to be able to hear from the news what went on after- but why did Michael scream? Did he get squipped? Or was he just freaked out?

It's not like he could just ask him.

_Beep..._

He missed Michael so much, his heart ached at the thought.

It's not like Michael wasn't there anymore, Mchael was always there with him for some reason. He constantly felt Michael's touch on his hand- nice and light, maybe a little sweaty at times. But Jeremy was thankful.

He could feel Michael adjust the blanket that always sat on top of him when he first arrived to his room.

He could hear Michael's voice all the time.

_Beep..._

_Beep..._

_Beep..._

He missed talking to Michael, actually being able to interact with his friend. Everytime Michael said something, Jeremy had tried his darnedest to answer back.

But his mouth wasn't fucking working.

He missed hearing Michael be happy about something that was going on his life.

_Beep..._

All Michael seemed to do was tell him about how much he'd missed him and read aloud the books he was assigned in english class. Jeremy wanted to badly to tell him that he had already read the books last year since he was in a higher english class than him, but he just didn't have the functioning mouth to tell him.

_Beep..._

All Jeremy could do was lay there and wait, wait a little longer, and wait even more.

These people seemed to know what they were doing as they poked and prodded him everyday with their fingers and a sharp object that hurt a lot everytime they did it. Each day they said the exact same things in their quiet voices, things that he didn't quite understand.

Maybe it was good that he didn't, but everytime they said it, he tried to ask them to explain it to him.

They could never hear him.

_Beep..._

_Beep.._

_Beep..._

"I just wish you never would've taken that fucking tic-tac!" Michael ranted to Jeremy one day, a rant which has been repeated over five times so far. "Sometimes I blame myself, you know? I think about things I should've done differently, but then I get fucking stumped because you're stubborn as hell and would have still done it anyways!" Jeremy's heart breaks at the crack in Michael's voice as he continues on.

All Jeremy wants is to tell Michael that he was sorry and how none of this was his fault. That Jeremy took full blame and that Michael should go out and live his life to the fullest instead of sitting next to him. 

Every.

Single.

Day.

But surprise surprise- he still can't talk.

He screamed angrily at his body.  _Why don't you fucking work?_

_Beep..._

_Beep..._

_Beep..._

He felt a nurse open his eye today, a sharp pain shot throughout his face when his eye unstuck from his eyelid. He screamed for the nurse to stop. The nurse didn't hear his pleas. No one could ever hear him.

He never knew that your eyes get stuck to your eyelids if they haven't been opened in awhile.

He did now.

The nurse let out a sad sigh and slowly walked away.

_Beep..._

_Beep..._

_Beep..._

Michael wasn't crying, no, Michael was sobbing right next to him. " _Please_! Just- just one more month! Anything can happen in a month, please Mr. Heere! Tell them that they can't do this." He pleaded with a death grip on Jeremy's hand.

Jeremy was yelling unheard questions about what was going on.

"Michael, there's nothing they can do anymore." Jeremy's dad tried to reason in a sad voice, he felt his heart drop.

Jeremy started to scream even louder now.

_Beep..._

"You don't understand, he's still in there! One more month, I swear-"

_Of course I'm still here, where would I have gone?_

"It's been a year, Michael!" Jeremy's dad tiredly argued, as if they'd had this conversation before. "A year and nothing has changed, please, it's time to let him go. It's not healthy that you're here everyday, he would want you to live your life, son." Jeremy felt Michael's death drip tighten for a second and loosen up.

 _Michael, no! Michael, I'm still in here please! Dad! Dad I'm still here I swear! Don't give up on me!_ Jeremy screamed and screamed as the conversation went on.

"I- I know, but he's my player 2. No one's ever going to replace him and I worked so hard to get him back..." Michael trailed off with a sob, "I never even really got him back either."

_I'm still here, you've got me back! I'm here, I'm fine, please Michael!_

_Beep..._

He heard a rush of footsteps to the door and a nurse say, "you guys shouldn't be in here for this," in a professional voice.

Jeremy was fighting with all his might to move, to be heard, to stop them from making a mistake. He wanted to punch everyone in the face, he wanted to shake Michael's shoulders and tell him to stop them.

But he couldn't.

Then a whirlwind of voices swirled around him accompanid with footsteps and equipment moving around the room.

The only things that stood out were his screams for help and Michael's "I love you, Jeremiah Heere."

_Beep..._

Jeremy was slowly getting tired and then suddenly, he was gone.

Room 204 was quiet for the first time in a year.

**Author's Note:**

> like always, this was written in a short period (+ on a bad tablet) so sorry for the errors!!


End file.
